I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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