i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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