She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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