Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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