he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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