You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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