Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
