This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
