grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
