I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
