I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
