Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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