But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
