That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
