i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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