My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
