i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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