i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
