If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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