Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
