I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
