She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
