see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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