We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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