Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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