I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you will always have a special place in my vag
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
my liver is dry heaving
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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