Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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