Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
