Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
