Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
