i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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