apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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