Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
