Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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