For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
