I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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