I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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