Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
