HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
