After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
