The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
