Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
