I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
