I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
