i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
