they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Let's get the cat blown out
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
