Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
