I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
