this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
