so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
