Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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