Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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