70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
